Relationship is Everything. That begs to be repeated, Relationship is Truly Everything - With yourself and with everyone else around you.
We all develop and learn in relationship. We’re all hurt in relationship. And we all heal in relationship.
I can’t say enough that this is HUGELY IMPORTANT WORK not only for yourself and your most intimate relationship(s) but also for your relationship and leadership out there in an increasingly disconnected world.
LET ME BE CLEAR. This is NOT therapy.
This is NOT relationship counseling.
/01
OK so, what is this then?!
First and foremost, this is a safe place to dive into what you want both in relationship and out of relationship. This approach is from the inside out.
What do you want? This is just one of those key questions that we miss asking ourselves about our relationships – especially when you’re playing the role of a people pleaser better known as the “nice guy or gal”. You’ve heard the saying “happy wife, happy life” right? Delete that from your mind right f’ing now.
A simple exercise for you:
1) Take 6 deep breaths and try to be present with yourself for a moment.
2) Then ask what is true to you right now? What of your needs aren’t being met?
And I’m not talking about those “needs”… well maybe I am, but it’s deeper.
3) Stay there for a while and feel it.
4) So, what do you WANT?
Write it down. Now it’s right in front of you.
/02
What brought you here?
You’re here for a reason, so let’s look at some of the most common ones
Either you are a student of personal development and just want to learn more about yourself in relationship to others – or – you’re looking to solve a problem.
Relationship and intimacy issues usually boil down to a few major categories:
1) You haven’t learned how to deal with your differences or celebrate them. You may be having conflict, or feel like you’ve chosen each other in error, blame each other for problems, and this can be a slippery slope.
2) One or both of you stopped paying attention to the relationship. You may have started to take each other for granted. When couples experience this, it can trigger existing or new attachment wounds.
3) You feel a sense of disconnection or a shift in polarity of your intimacy. You’ve grown apart and no longer feel connected to each other because of lack of touch, lack of sex, and increased separation.
4) Eroded trust is a result of behaviour outside the spoken or unspoken rules of the relationship. Always difficult but not impossible to come back from.
“The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships.” ~ Esther Perel
/03
Framework for Intimacy
I’m here for a reason too. I’m a messenger, a conduit for peak experience, and I’m a “framework type of guy”
There’s many tools in the “toolbox” to examine our relationships, I mean just google relationship and see what type of rabbit hole you can go down.
I’ll be the first to admit it – I’ve failed in relationship. My perspective on failure is that it is a great lesson. Those lessons are what I’ve jumped into, head first, followed closely by my heart.
Here we are, what you WANT becomes clear and you’ll move wholeheartedly towards it.
We can all do all the research until we’re blue in the face but the rubber must hit the road at some point right? If you’re not ready for this now, that’s fine, I’ll be here when you are.
I want to acknowledge you for doing the work. I’m here to hold you to it and guide you along the way.
I welcome a conversation with you, whether you’re here on your own or with your partner. And I am always excited by interacting with people who want to truly work on this thing we call relationship.
This is the foundation to build your framework for intimacy.
/04
Let's Connect!
The Feminine is hurt by feelings of not being seen, not being understood, and feeling unsafe.
The Masculine is hurt by feelings of being criticized, lack of connection (closed off), and being controlled.
Understanding this is the first step.
Get ready for this… Masculine does not equal Male and Feminine does not equal Female…
There really is an awakening happening that we are all being thrust into nowadays.
We are living in an increasingly disconnected world and our relationships are failing because of it.
RELATIONSHIP QUOTES I AM PONDERING NOW:
“In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.” ~ John M. Gottman
“If you don’t grow, you die and fossilize. If you change too much, too fast, there’s no stability.” ~ Esther Perrel
“The most sacred ground is where an ancient hate has turned into a present love.” ~ Dr. Helen Schucman